THE LIGHTHOUSE
(2019)

★★★ 

YAHHRRR HERE BE ME REVIEW OF THE LIGHTHOUSE – A TALL TALE DARK AND MOODY LIKE THE CABOT STRAIT AT DAWN YET MYSTERIOUS AND FOREBODING LIKE A BELUGA WHALE’S LABIA. BUT ONLY A SQUIFFED NANTUCKETER USES CAPS LOCK.

Ye cinematography be moody as a mer-woman at low tide yet sharpe as a Narwhale horn

The Yahhr: Ye cinematography be moody as a merwoman at low tide yet sharpe as a Narwhale horn. Ye square-shaped aspect ratio made me feel squished like those salty onscreen wickies. Willem Dafoe here be a mad, flatulent Green Goblin in hearty visage of the Gorton’s Fisherman.

The Ahhr: This film’s pace makes the Furtwängler Glacier look like a baltic squid fired from a cannon. Methinks Captain Eggers do plot an ambitious course, fun for sightseeing but knows not his destination. Three Yahrrs.